Jango's letter to the Top-Management: 10% truth and 90% drama...

Jango pk
Employee Num: 00000
Marketing Executive
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The Deputy General Manager HRD
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Head office

Respected Sir,
       I seek your permission in submitting the explanation, in reply to the notice No. 2333/to/2011 dated 12/12/2011.
      It is most respectfully submitted that(Drama), I hadn't been willfully absenting from duty unauthorisdly as alleged in the notice. I had planned for a pilgrimage to Sabarimala on fulfillment of a prayer made by my mother in terms of my MBA course, marking the termination of academic activities.The proposal of the program was informally conveyed to the respected Unit Cheif (Remember him HUH!!) as well as other colleagues. I was also observing penance as a prelude to the pilgrimage. This being my innigs journey to Sabarimala, I was required to undergo the ritual of seeking blessings of elderly persons from my meternal and peternal side, living scattered in various places, before leaving for the pilgrimage. Accordingly I had planned to take leave from 9/12/11 afternoonand leave for home. And from there to proceed to Sabarimala. Therefore I had presented the leave application before the Unit Cheif (Whom I wanted to make 10billion pieces and paste with fevicol and stuff there on the wall of central prison) and saught his permission to leave the office.
      Even though he had expressed his dislike in recommending the leave, I pleaded (Mega lie!
)that the program had been finilized in anticipation of sanction and I be allowed to proceed as proposed and complete the journey to Sabarimala. I had also placed the request before the respected (Undo?? Evide!! Winks!) General Manager over phone at the instance of the Unit Cheief ( Unit Cheif... Huh UNIT KOPPPP).
    I had completed the pilgrimage and returned home on 16/12/11 to recieve a notice from my college requiring me to participate in the convocation and passing out ceremony of Final ------- Students on 17/12/11. Participation in the function was stated mandatory (Wasn't it? Winks again). Accordingly I had attened the college on 17/12/11 from where I had recieved the notice under reference; Calling for explanation (Fishing Explanation!!).
It is most humbly submitted (Badayi of the year!) that, I had no intention of defying my superiors and to proceed on leave without authority. Being a new entrant in the company service, I am not well versed with the regulations in availing leave. I was under the impression that, the application for such an austere and auspicious ground will get assent on the part of the respectful authorities as a matter of routine. It is submitted that, I may kindly be excused if unknowingly I had created an impression of having absented from duty without authority. I seek your apology (At your face; PODA PULLEEE !!) sir in having cost the inconvenience.
      And in all humbleness (Badayi of the coming year !! ) request that I may be exempted from disciplinary proceedings. Allow me to reiterate that, such lapse will never occur in future. Anxiously waiting for your favors. ( OHHHHHH PINNEEEE !!! )

Jango KP




Thanks For your time
Sharath Muthirakkal

Jango in trouble - In the verge of losing his job...

           That very day Jango was truly excited. He was missing home for a long time and planned to take half day off to leave his home town by the afternoon train. He finished his daily routines in swift. Jango had to pack the whole room which is a total mess, inside two travel bags. He had done it too. Jango was about to lock the room. Fuck! He couldn’t find the lock and key which he kept on the table last night. He searched everywhere. Even in toilet. I don’t know you all are known to a proverb, Kuntham poyal, Kudathilum thappanam.. Poor Jango couldn’t find it anywhere. For the next 15 minutes Jango literally became a rat and ran every look end corner of the room. He had to go through the newspapers, waste papers, plastic covers which had been thrown all over. Finally he got the lock and key which was hanging against the wall and compressed against his bed. It didn’t take him too much to leave the place. Jango had his music on when he was in the bus and that song in ‘Spadikam’.. Ormakal… Ormakal.. was haunting him like anything.

                He reached his office on time. And felt the day so cool and fantastic. He knew that he had an appointment by 11’O’ Clock. And the place where he has to go to was just a stone throw away. Jango started reading a book and his manager came. You remember his manager eh?. That old man, who drink inside his cabin and spit all over the floor, Immediately the manager asked Jango , by what time is the appointment. He said by 11. His manager just murmured and left the scene. Jango wished he could hear his manager. When it was 10.40 his manager started literally barking at him for not going to meet the client. Jango tried to explain that the appointment  is by 11am. But all his efforts were in vein as his manager went on barking.  Jango didn’t mind it. Kurakkum patti kadikkilla ennanallo!!.  Who cares? He moved out immediately to the client’s place.

            He was there on time in client’s office on time. But the person he was supposed to meet went outside for some Poojas. Jango wondered why people do poojas by making someone wait. He told in the reception that he would meet the respective person in 40 minutes and left to his lodge. Jango wanted to wear his brand new woodlands shoes instead of the slippers he was wearing. Jango reached a traffic signal where he found out a straight bus which would take him to his lodge in 15 minutes. He ran like anything and almost reached the door. Fuck!! Green signal on! Jango jumped inside but the timing of his jump was wrong and he fell down on the road. No injurie!  Ishoye nee kaathu!!. But in a fraction of a second jango felt cool air brushing his inner thighs. He noticed some girls laughing at him. Jango looked at his united color of Benetton jeans. He couldn’t look at it again. It was torn. Like shit it was torn!!. Jango wanted to kill that bus driver, wanted squeeze that traffic operator who just in wrong time lit the green light, wanted to smack that sales man  in United color of Benetton showroom, who said him that the stitching of the jean is extra perfect. Like Sidin Vadukut wrote, Jango felt, as whole world slapped across his face and ran away laughing like Jagathi Sreekumar.

                     Jango had to catch up an auto to his lodge and he left the place after changing his dress and wearing woodlands. He headed to that client’s place only to find out that that person would be late for another 2 hours or so. Jango had a train leaving by 2.00pm, so he could not wait for that guy (Mother chood!) as it was almost 12.45pm. He rushed back to office and filled up the leave application form. Everything seemed to be fine till that moment except the ‘jean incident’. When he approached his manager, that bugger asked him to leave only on the next day. Jango couldn’t bear it. He wanted to place his manager’s head in that fax machine and fax it to the head office. He called the HR lady who had given him the posting letter and asked her what to do. She was an Aaaarthi pandaram !! She said she is going to have lunch. When some people get fire on their ass, somebody would be often there to laugh. Jango couldn’t wait. He called his General Manager to discuss the same. He said his GM that the unit manager is not giving him the permission to go home. Jango told him that he is a swamy and going Sabarimala on day after tomorrow. Then that bastard asked jango to leave office only in the evening and came back on day after tomorrow. Fucker might have thought Jango was planning to go sabarimala in Jet airways??

                        Then the manager asked Jango whether he has any interest to work with the same company. Jango said he didn’t say anything sort of that. Suddenly his GM asked him to resign and leave if he wants to take off for 3 days. By the time Jango lost his control and said his GM that, that particular company is not the last company for him and there are other companies across the world as well. He hung the call and chose to leave the messy place. His fellow worker also came along with Jango to have lunch. He advised Jango how to move a complaint, what should and should not be included, how the system works with the company etc. Jango felt as if his elder brother giving some valuable instructions. He loves that fellow so much. Jango finally left the place.

                   He may lose his job. But the last thing Jango wanted to happen would be working with the same manager. But Jango is still super cool. He knows what to do. He wants to teach that manager a lesson. If things are moving against his favor he would certainly resign from the company. Yet he loves the company and its culture. Only thing he hates is the work culture in his office and his manager’s dirty behavior. But Jango would miss that fellow worker, unbelievable, super cool brother.

                 This is not the end of the story. Later.. Later ;)

Thanks for your time.

Sharath Muthirakkal

Jango's workstation- Funny yet painful work experiences...

              Getting a campus placement was never in the wildest dreams of ‘Jango’, the main character in this story. He was in cloud 9 when he saw his photo along with other guys who got placed along with him in the college notice board. He tried pretending very cool. But Jango was jumping all over inside. He was excited even though he was not placed in Infoysis or kind or giants. He was truly happy even though he would get merely 11k in a month. After all jango was never thought himself crossing the line of MBA. But he had done it. He got placed in a well known Company which has got incorporated and grown inside Kerala itself. And Jango was truly excited, since the products of the company are super famous almost everywhere. Moreover he was excited to wear the tag of the company. He knew it would help him to get away from the Highway police. Jango would be one of the rare guys in Kerala who runs gearless scooter without license for more than 15 months, in an around 13000 kilometers, that too without being caught. No wonder why Highway police came into picture.

              Jango was initially asked to report in the head office of the company which was located in the next District. Jango and other new candidates had 9 days induction. Finally The D-Day came and they got posted in various branches. Jango’s friend got posted in Jango’s place. Jango received his order and ripped it open. Though Jango noticed a naughty smile on the HR lady’s face, he was not able to read anything out of it. Perhaps Jango was too busy opening the letter. Jango started reading. He felt whole the office spinning around him when he read the place where he got posted. It was 240 odd kilometers away. The place called ‘Golbadi’ in the neighborhood state.  Anyway Jango has decided to join on the given date.

                       Jango was on time there in the office. He was confused to see a flat with full of shattered products of the company he is going to work for. He thought it would be the dustiest place in India. Inviting high school students for excursion in such places would add to the popularity of the company. He met his manager, who was in his 50s and was at first sight looked decent and later on turned as real villain. Jango wondered even Keerikkadan jose would stand behind him. But his manager looked far better than Keerikkadan.

                      Second day at work Jango found out a terrible spelling mistake in the office. He found his manager spitting all over inside the office. Jango almost threw up. But hold it on and went outside immediately. When he discussed the same with his colleagues, he realized that they all are aware of it. One of the fellow employees even told him that, if the manager had got a chance he would shit all over the floor. Padachone pani palumo??  Jango couldn’t imagine it.

                            Jango found his co-worker washing his hand more than 5 times after coming back from his manager's cabin. Curious Jango enquired about it and ran out of office to laugh like hell. Jango stopped laughing only when a girl next door saw him laughing like an insane fellow. When he enquired about the hand washing incident, his co-worker said him that he had used the manager's computer and mouse for 5 minutes and never wanted to get admitted in the near by hospital.  'Adipoli.. adipoli...'

                             Third day was also eventful. When he entered the office it was stinking like hell. Jango sniffed as though a well trained police dog and found the smell. Alcohol!! That too low quality stuff. Huh, Jango was stunned again. On the same evening Jango was strolling back to his home and suddenly he remembered about the key which he kept on his table. He rushed back to the office. It was locked from inside. He knocked. Jango smelled something fishy inside. Manager opened the door and he found 2 half empty honey bee bottle and finished soda bottles along with pickles. His manager was not even able to stand properly. Jango couldn’t bear it and he literally ran out of the office. Had it be the Olympics 100 meter race, India would have got the Gold in the same event. Guess who would have been there in the history. Our jango.

                          It is not the end of the story. Lot to tell. Later... later ;)

Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

Poonkavu Temple...

          Poonkavu temple is located in Edakkad which is 11 KMs away from Kannur District of kerala. It is one among the traditional ‘Kavus’ in Kerala where ‘Theyyam’ is conducted twice in a year. Poonkavu temple is literally inside a green natural tent. Huge baniyan trees and other identified and unidentified species of plants decorates the greenary.  Whole temple is separately divided in to three portion. The Back ‘Kavu’ is where the main God ‘GURUKKANMAR ‘ setteled and watch the proceeding of evryone which includes the naughty Goddess ‘PARADEVATHA’, all other deities and all devotees.

        Poonkavu Temple is famous not only because of the number of theyyams but also the rituals performed in a routine basis. Usually theyyam starts in the Malayalam month ‘Kumbham’ mostly February 16^th, 17^th and 18^th. It begins at the backside kavu. There in the backside, 4 Theyyams are there. ‘Elanguravan and Poothadi’, ‘Pambuthara’,’ Gurukkanmar’ and ‘Uchathira’. When the festival is on, entire village would be literally on. You would find positive energy everywhere. From the kids to the grant parents Theyyam in poonkavu means a lot. If it is toys and baloons motivates kids to hang out in the kavu, it is the search for peace, blessings in whatever endeavor motivates the other age groups. Guys like me had even prayed for not getting another 0.25 marks out of 100 in Mathematics.

        Gods and Godesses in Poonkavu temple had never let his or her devotees in a desert alone. Wherever they needed a push, It had been rightly provided.  Almost everybody in the village have to say some experience where they felt the presence of Gurukkanmar, Paradevatha and other Gods and Goddess in Poonkavu temple. I have been experiencing a lot of such. The approachability of the temple is famous not only in Edakkad but also everywhere. If you have a sorrow or kind of stuff, given you pay full concentration and belief, it would be washed away in shortest span of time. That is the power of the energy spreads in the territory.

         Al most all erespective of  religion, cast, creed comes here to offer prayers. All of a sudden you feel a sense of belonging. Rituals perfomed in the Kavu is believed to be years old and need to perform with zero defect. Otherwise, its believed that the personswho perfoms those would get adverse effect. Hence everything from the beginning to the end would be crystal clear.

          We all friends would be literally staying in the kavu for 2-3 days and equal nights, helping around, watching the proceedings and stuff like that. Nobody in the whole world would never dare to do anything against the temple. Many guys have tried to destroy, steal and other valuables from the kavu and failed miserably to do the same. Not only that, many of them had died in variety of accidents.

          Foreigners from UK, US etc. often visit the temple, when Theyyam is on. One Mr. Rozario from italy said “ We haven’t seen something like this before. This is energetic, Colorful and fantastic”.

          Last time I had my friend from Bangalore, Mr. Nikhilesh. He loved it like anything and he was telling me about the dark colors, richness and togetherness etc. Nikhilesh even told me that he would bring his friends next time.

         I invite all of you in the name of almighty for the Theyyam festival Which is gonna begin on February. For more information do mail me at : sharathmuthirakkal@gmail.com

 Thanks for your time.

Sharath Muthirakkal.

Another day in paradise...

   I know where heaven is. At least am fully aware where mine is. It is not that far. It is nothing but my sweet little home. There is a solid reason behind this post being published. That reason is simple. To me heaven is a place ultimate peace overtakes the sum total of all the material comforts of the whole world. It took me this many years to find out one such place. My heaven is my home, where, my parents, brother, grandmother share happiness and dilute sorrows of any kind.

    Usually I hate people advising me. Let it be elders or youngsters. The last thing I would ever prefer to hear in whole world could be a 10 minutes free speech with a tag hanging ‘advise’.

But Last night I found myself listening to my Dad for almost an hour. He was advising me generally, like how should I take responsibilities in my work life, social life and work life and how one should shape their life and all.

    He said me “Dear son, you make money or not, go out with your friends or not, you take up all your responsibilities or not, at the end of the day, you are coming home and throw yourself in the bed, feeling the presence of eternal peace, Calmness, Comfort and security; Then you realize that, even the luxurious 5* hotel would fail to compete with your home. In the first place who would come up to compete against heaven in case of luxury and comfort??

     To me, People with whom I am living are GODS. They are not just equal to Gods. They are actually. Your parents are one of them. Nobody else in the entire universe would stand with and for you in whatever situations than your parents.  Nobody else in the world would always offer a helping hand when you need it than your siblings. Nobody else in the whole world would teach you some lessons of generations and pure love than your grand parents. The bondage between them is so strong that, even if you stay away from them, you feel they are so near.

       They all are GODS and they all are living with you. Open your eyes. See and feel your home- The heaven in earth.

 

      ‘Title courtesy’: Phil Collins

Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

The Irresistible Chetan - New face of Indian literature

     They say Chetan Bhagat makes India read. Whatever it may be, Chetan Bhagat is the author who made me read. I have never read English novels till I picked 'Five point Someone-What not to do in IIT'. I just read the prologue and stopped only after finishing the book at a stretch. I felt fresh and cool after reading the book and soon I realized I was in love with Chetan the great, who made an idiot to read an English Novel. On the same day itself I completed ' One Night @ Call center'. My love for Chetan was multiplying and it made me read more books of other authors. Paulo Coelho, Subroto Bhagchi, Arundhathi Rai, Sasi Tharoor, Robin Sharama, Sidin Vadukut, Durjoy Dutta are few of them. But who has introduced them to me?? Mr. Chetan Bhagat The great !!
    I wonder what is working with Chetan's books, which hits the best seller always. He is the new generation marketer altogether. We studied no?, Marketing is all about delivering what people desire for, Cehtan doing exactly that, No writer in India have understood what Indians want to read, What are the demands of youngsters, What are their feelings towards the society, government, system etc. Chetan is not a purist in terms the language he use, Grammar he apply as like many other writers, Yet he make huge difference!!
    Guess what is the secret??    ' OBSERVATION' !!
 He is the greatest observer I have ever seen in the whole world. He watch objects, people, situations etc. so close that one could hardly imagine. Once in an interview a lady was literally barking at Chetan for not using standard English. Chetan replied, " dear mam', it doesn't matter what is the standard of your language as long as people loves it, and more over I am writing for the people in India and my inbox will tell you what they want and what are they looking for. If you want heavy standard, books are available in plenty . As long as Indians loves me, my standard would be this. An Indian standard !! ". A loud applause followed.
   3 Mistakes of my life and 2 states- the story of my marriage were yet again the best sellers and the promotion of these books were awesome too. Chetan has got a huge fan base across the world. Most of the teenagers in India would be owning at least one of the Bhagat books for his/her own for sure. That it self is just enough to understand the impact he already made in Indian literature arena. His latest book Revolution 2020 gonna be a revolution in both of it's selling as well as the spark it gonna create on the society. Book came in the right time, where young India were in the streets lead by Anna hasare demanding for a corruption free, equal society and a NEW INDIA. Chetan's books had been referred for many successful as well as non-successful movies. But his books never fell in the later category. 
  Chetan has inspired me, not only to read but also to write. Nobody in this world would have ever thought I could write a paragraph as my own. But he made it possible. I love you Chetan Ji :) . I dream of Chetan seeing my post and calling me. In fact you are the man who gave me the wings, Chetan.
I know a zillion thanks would not be enough.

Thank you so much Chetan...

 Looking forward for more :)

Thanks for your time
Sharath Muthirakkal

Cricket in India- A behaviour or an Attitude?

Hello People
Hope all is well.

I am a Cricket fan. Perhaps a huge fan of 'Team India'. As a normal cricket fan even I do become dull when India loos. I Jump up and down when we win matches irrespective of the format of the game; whether it is a Test match, an ODI or even a T-20 [ T-20 sucks big time, (Will share those thoughts in another post, may be next time)]. But I hardly abuse our players [Wonder why Munaf Patel is still an exception]. You won't believe if I tell you that for making India the Cricket World Champions of 2011 [ I still believe in that way, doesn't need any public agreement], I might have dropped more than 500 bucks in many prayer boxes. Yes  Rs500 was a big money for me (well still it is!). Well this post is not for boasting my cricket fantasy.

In cricket it does not take too much time to make the same fans who have had cheered for their team especially when the team is on a winning streak, to play the counter part when the team looses irrespective of whatever genuine reasons that the management could come up with. Cricketers in subcontinent especially Indian players and Pakistan players are very much aware of it. When they have returned home after being defeated by minors such as Bangladesh and Ireland in 2007 West Indies World Cup, Rotten eggs, random stones, slippers etc welcomed them.

Remember what was the reception that the victorious Team India got after winning the first ever T-20 World cup??
That is what you could always expect from a country where majority of the people believes in religion called ' Cricket' and worship Sachin, Dhoni and Dravid. One day they would take you on their shoulders and dance and on another different day, they would even like to suck your blood. Nobody has any right to scold them for the same. Because to them game cricket is more than a Game. Remember how the fans have reacted when the match fixing came up so badly and shut the door for Muhammed Azharudeen and Jadeja?. They were treated as traitors who had ditched the fellow soldiers in the war front. Whole nation went against them. But we Indians didn't stop watching cricket.

Finally Dhoni's 'Men in Blue' brought the world cup after 27 years and people across the glob watched what is the intensity of emotions, feelings etc. attached with this game. After winning The world Cup Sanjay Manjarekkar [ Former cricketer and commentator ] asked Virat Kohli : Virat what was goin in your mind while carrying Sachin Tendulkar on your shoulder?
                     Virat Kohli : For the past 20 years Sachin has been carrying the entire Indian cricket on his shoulders and we won it for him and the champion deserves it more than anyone else.

Cricket in India will never die.

Thanks for your time.
See you next time.