The UNPAID Senior Executive-Sales and Marketing (Part I)

Disclaimer: If you find any character in the story similar to anyone in real life, I would

be really happy because it was purely intentional.

When you go through the story you might come up with two questions. Like;

1.     Am I mad? – Ans: Truly I am .

2.     Drunk?      - Ans: No. SOBER 100%

Hi everyone. This is Sidharath here. I have shifted to Cochin from Bangalore last month and joined with a reputed news channel as Senior Executive-Sales and Marketing. Training given to the newly joined group was fair enough. As you know a marketing executive whether he/she is ‘Senior’ or ‘junior’ has to run across the territory like a horse and bring business. I was truly excited. Let me introduce our team first. We are a team of three. Our Manager (Mr. Alex Kuruvila) was an ex employee of a domestic channel. Assistant Manager (Mr. Mintu Varghese) was working with a leading national daily and yours’ truly Sidharth, Senior Executive Sales and Marketing. [Well had worked in many places ;-) ]

Mr. Alex who possesses good knowledge about the Cochin market had taken me and Mintu along with him for first two weeks, so that we could get introduced with Ad-Agencies and major clients. Dear people, I was shocked at the first agency visit itself. We reached an agency and got a decent reception. We were all welcomed to the Manager’s cabin. That manager was a friend of Alex and they had a casual chat. Then Mr. Mintu introduced himself to the manager. I couldn't shut my mouth till he stopped since he started. Mintu changed his accent and became some Anglo Indian and acted as if he was some James Bond from the 007 movie. When he finished I was about to say, ‘Hi, this is Sidharth’ but I was stopped by Mintu and he went along, ‘this is Sidharth. He is from Bangalore and other bla bla bla about me. I was taken aback and mentally shown the middle finger to the Chuttiya. It was not for the last time. Everywhere same thing happened. I wondered what that mother fucker wanted to convey by introducing me as if I was dumb!

After two weeks we have started going out alone. I was thrilled because I knew at least I could get introduced myself to someone. Days went by. I was pushing and pushing hard to get the first Release Order (RO) but the response from market was disappointing. One month passed by. No sign of salary!

There is another interesting thing about these managers, Alex and Mintu. These buggers have a wrong understanding about ‘Commitment’! They believes that staying long in the office is commitment. Usually I finish my work around 6 Pm and shutdown my system. Then Mr.Alex would ask me to show some commitment. Sometimes I wanted to ask ‘Should I drop my underwear and show you my fucking commitment’. (Having said that, please don't assume on that  I was in my underwear alone!). But I always chose to sit there to watch those morons. Reason why I wanted to go my room was very simple. I don’t have a family or a servant there at home. I have to wash my clothes and cook my food. Reaching there at 10.30Pm and doing all the above mentioned things would be a herculean task for someone who had ran all across Cochin for a day. And I seriously believe that you should have at least thirty minutes a day for your leisure. At least one track of AR Rahman a day! That too was fucking denied.

Do Smart work idiots. It is not about the time. It is about result, efficiency and effectiveness!  (Wah...Wah...Wah...Look who is giving such a gyan!)

One month and fifteen days passed by. Salary status remained unchanged. Mr. Alex and Mr.Mintu had never asked me about the salary. But one day after 20^th of the second month Mr.Mintu asked me whether I had got my salary credited. I said NO and in reply he said it would take another couple of days and he is also really struggling. I wanted to rub Mintu’s face on that Kalamassery road when I heard from other source, that salary has already been paid to the Managers and Assistant Managers. (I wanted to scream at him 'CHUTTTTIYAAAAA' but always chose to smile at his ugliness)

On 25^th of the same month, I got a mail from the General Manager Marketing. When I saw the subject of the mail as ‘YOUR SALARY’, I was thrilled!

But it is not everyday you get a mail from your boss congratulating you for ‘not asking’ the salary of almost two months. I seriously wonder how they rate the reasoning level of MBA graduates of the country!

I mean how she could think that people would be encouraged after opening that mail. It was obvious that she was intentionally sweetening the words and trying to attach some fake sincerity. She might have thought it would reason those guys who have not paid for almost 2 months. But SIDHARTH is definitely out of that box!

They make you work, round a clock. You expect them to pay overtime. Now I have no such luxurious dreams. When I signed the contract with them I even had no idea that ‘Senior Executive- Sales and Marketing’ is a synonym for the word ‘SLAVE’!

Thanks for your time

For Sidharath

Sharath Muthirakkal

THE ADVENTURES OF UNEMPLYED MAN!

All the characters in the story are real. If you find any resemblance

with someone you know that is purely intentional and no regrets!


One thing I want to make it clear before I start- I am not drunk!

Life is such an interesting tale. Sometimes it makes you happy and brings all the joy in the world. Sometimes it simply fuck you! I was a destiny's believer. So when good things happened in life I used to boast my brilliance and whenever ulta happened I could always blame 'destiny'.

About the jobs I quit. I didn't want to lose all the jobs I lost recently. My expectations and the nature of the jobs I had to do was not at all matching. Hence I opted to quit.  

And when I had no job my lover inboxed me this text; " Sidharth, See now you have no job. My parents are never gonna like you. And you proved that you are useless. Please don't call me or text me. We are through!". I didn't say anything but after that there was no SMSs or calls from her. I never knew that she loved my job. Slowly I understood that I was brutally fucked. Not fucked, Raped!

Parents said, You should not have resigned. I kept quiet. I knew they are sincere and worried about their Son's future. 

But there are some relatives, They would simply ask those questions you never wanted to be asked in a public place. Whenever they meet you, irrespective of the places, occasions they shoot those questions. It may be a wedding reception, A funeral, A party night. Thing is that they knew you have no job and you are totally fucked up. But they want to do others a favor. Wonder what favor? They also want others to know that you are fucked up! Sadistic but social service indeed.

Now everyone out there knew that you are a loser. Someone may laugh as if they watched a comedy show. Someone will come to you and advice you. Most of the advices would be like; ' Dude you were wrong there, What the hell you have done there, You could have just hanged  there etc. Someone will even offer a job too. They will tell " Dude see next time when you meet me online I will get you my e-mail id do send your CV we will see". You will be expecting a lot from the last guy and next time when you see him online you will say 'Hi' and the bugger at the other end simply logout and go or else he will turn of the chat.
But there you learn a lesson. Next time onward you will not listen to such bullshits. 

I was shocked when one of my female cousins turned her face away when she saw me standing near a shop, smiling at her. I had seen one of my relatives warning a kid that, don't go near him, as if I was a cannibal!

But I know there is something in the store! Thats what pushing me!


For Sidharth

His Best Friend

Sharath Muthirakkal.


Thanks for your time guys!

LOSER MANAGING A FAKE SMILE!

Once again he looked in the mirror. He checked himself

smiling and nodded. After losing his 6^th job he never managed to bring that natural smile on his face. But today, he was determined to bring back the lost smile. His cousin sister’s wedding reception was just a couple of hours away and he knew that his juniors would be there, relatives would be there. He didn’t want to look like a buffoon in front of them. Somehow he managed to smile. Let me put it in other way; somehow he managed a fake smile on his face and decided to move to the auditorium.

He wore denim and a black shirt. After losing his last job he has managed to reduce his weight. He became lean. He didn’t shave and went with a beard which was telling everyone watching him that, he was not alright. Yet he thought that, the fake smile would cover up everything. He reached the venue half past 7 and got a warm reception. He smiled and moved on. But one of his relatives asked him straight away “Dude you lost the job as well right, ha ha ha , now you are gone man”!. Suddenly the smile on his face faded away and he left the scene in seconds.

He bumped on Rani Aunty whose son is settled in US of America after his MBA and Daughter working in Wipro, Bangalore after her B-Tech. It was like escaping from a lion’s den and entering straight into the leopard’s mouth. Rani Aunty was excited seeing him

“Arey Sidharth Bhetta… How are you? Oh I am sorry, You lost that job too na?. Now you must think a lot before going to join somewhere. See your Cousin Rohan is performing well and was the best performer Award winner for the previous month too. You should chat with him when he comes online. He will give some tips to you, which would help you find out some good jobs”. [Sidharth had stopped contacting Rohan since he started talking about dollars and global marketing terms]. Sidharth nodded and walked away from Rani Aunty.

He met Tinu, his cousin whose marriage reception was underway and about to leave to the food court. Then one familiar voice called him and he looked back. It was Rwitika his Ex-Girlfriend. Rwitika and Tinu were classmates from school and Sidharth wished to die there. He cleared his throat and returned a cold ‘Hi’ and about to leave. But Rwitika came forward and stood in front of Sidharth, blocking his way.

Rwitika: Dude heard that you lost that job as well. When you gonna be consistent man? Show some maturity. At least think about your future no?

[She was the girl once loved Sidharth’s immaturity, Childishness and what not!]

Sidharth: Rwitika, leave me alone. I know what to do. He left the food court without eating and rushed to his motorcycle and left the auditorium.

He drove his bike to the beachside BAR and settled with a half bottle whiskey. He tried to relive in all scenes. He thought about his first job, second job, third job, fourth job, fifth job and the last one. He thought about that uncle whom he met first at the wedding reception in the evening. He thought about Rani Aunty, Her Son Rohan and finally thought about Rwitika and her sarcastic statement. Then he pulled himself and locked inside the toilet. He looked in the mirror. Started counting…One…two…three…and he saw the smile coming on his face and that was what he needed. He laughed loud and drove back home, Drunk and with a smile on his face!

THANKS FOR YOUR TIME

SHARATH MUTHIRAKKAL

I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU...[FIRST EVER GREETING CARD]

In two months time everything will be finished.10th exams were nearing. Everyone but I was serious about

studies. While I was serious about my love! I was in love with her ever since I met her. It was way back in 7th standard. She was a relative of mine. I never told her that I loved her so much. Even she didn't tell me anything sort of that. But both of us knew each other that we were in love (At least I thought). No words were spoken. It was just the meaningful glances between us sent the messages across.

All of my friends were busy collecting autographs.But I wanted to gift something different for a special person. I decided to buy a greeting card for her. But when the shopkeeper started showing me the collection of greeting cards he had in stock, I got confused which one to choose. Everything he had shown me was better than the previous one. What I want was a greeting card which would brief my message to her in crisp sentence. more than 200 cards were in front of me. Finally I chose a card on which it was written 

"I  WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU"!

I couldn't sleep that night. I put the greeting card below my pillow and dreamed her. But God had other plans. Next evening I was walking back from school and saw her walking ahead of me. I called her up in trembling voice and went near her. There was a wrapper in her hand. I handed over the greeting card. But I was shell shocked when I came to know that she also had bought a card for me. When she passed me the card, I though I would have a cardiac arrest then and there. But nothing happened. I went home and locked my bedroom from inside and remove the wrapper and read what she wrote in the card. It read

" YOU ARE MY BROTHER FOREVER!"

I realized that It was all my false. I misjudged her glances. She might have seen a brother in me. I saw a lover in her. Clash of perceptions are common in life. True I was shocked and depressed for some months. 

After 9 years I saw her with her Husband and kids, during a function. She introduced me to her husband. Awkward moment! [Imaging your ex girlfriend introducing you to her husband !]

But I relived in that five words she had written on that greeting card " YOU ARE MY BROTHER FOREVER!". I smiled, they smiled and it was all smiles at the end!

Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

AND THERE IS HOPE!

Setbacks are common in life. Neither you invite them nor it knocks

at your door. Its just the rule of the game called LIFE! Sometimes there would be a series of failure in whatever you do. Either you do a business or you do a job in a company, the story would be the same- FAILURE! Sometimes you may loose faith in GOD when such situation arises. But remember the old saying? " GOD often checks who all are still keeping faith in him when tides of difficulty rocking one's life".

I know one guy who had lot of setbacks in his life so far. In his early days he struggled with a skin disease. He looked really ugly with marks on his face and all over his body. Some of his friends used to make fun of him. But he withheld his faith in GOD and moved on. His faith paid off when he turned 15. No marks were found on him and his confidence boosted high. Another incident; He was an average student whose English language was the worst among the students across the globe. But he kept his faith in GOD and worked hard. Now he is handling the language in such a way that he is able to read any book in English and what amused me is that he is managing a blog of his own online!

When he became a teenager, no girls had chosen him for a relationship. He was upset. He used to imagine strolling with a girl locking hands. But his imagination never became reality. He believed in GOD. After 2 years he found it difficult managing his female friends! But everything mentioned so far was nothing when you compare what he faced after joining for a PG course.

He was all fun in winter and summer. But when Monsoon hit he fell depressed. It was something like a depression attached with a climatic shift. He stopped going college for months and used to sit in his room, watching gloomy movies of late 80's . But his faith in GOD was never decreased. After that he was all fun throughout the year. After his MBA he got campus placement and started working in a faraway city. He could not stand with managerial policies of the company and quit. But GOD never let him down. He got selected in another company and started working again. Again he quit his job Again GOD placed him somewhere. But when he quit that job he fell depressed and this time it was disturbing and lasted for good 3 months. But he never disbelieved his GOD. Finally he bounced back and started swimming against the tide.

After that he realized one of his passions and moved on with it. Now he is all fun. Now he is all energetic. 

One of his friends asked him ' Dude,imagine another setback in your life, what will you do?'

He answered back "AGAIN,THERE IS HOPE!"

HAD I MET YOU BEFORE!

Hi readers. Long time! I was busy behind another passion of mine;

Photography! Sorry for keeping you waited. It was not at all intentional. Heart felt sorry.


Our hero Sidharth had a break up. He was sick after the incident. Partially depressed and often moody. It was sad to see one of our close friends in such a mood. We tried our level best to cheer him up, traveled places and tried to create a vibrant circle around him. Yet we found him freeze. 

One fine evening I was about to logout from work and received this text message from Sidharth that he would like to meet me at 7.00 pm in the evening. That was the one and only positive sign we have gotten ever since the break up incident. I was in a rush to reach the place on time. I was afraid that Sidharth would sometimes go home if at all I failed to appear on time. " People who lost hopes would never compromise on time". I didn't want anything bad to happen. In Bangalore especially near MG Road Auto drivers would always boss you. And if you are not fluent in Kannada you are DEAD!

I hailed a Taxi and went straight to Forum mall. Sidharath asked me to meet him over a coffee at Cafe Coffee Day, where I met him for the first time! I sensed that he had something to tell. I saw him before I enter the outlet itself. He wore a round neck T shirt. On the chest it was printed  'Had I met you Before!'. I didn't think too much about the phrase.
We exchanged pleasantries and settled for a large cup of cappuccino. Sidharth opened up after good twenty minutes. "Sharath, You see what is printed on my T shirt, 'Had I met you before!'.

 Come on Sidharth I am neither blind nor illiterate to see or read what is printed on your T shirt. Well whats up dude? - I said.


Sidharth went on.


" See sharath My girl is gone now. But all female friends who have became my special friends have already told me that "Sidharth had I met you before I would have surely fallen for you. See now I have a boyfriend and we are kinda settled what to do boss, give me one fat hug we are special friends!". Sidharth went on, I have been thinking about the sentence for good seven days. My entrance in somebody's life (Especially in some of my female friend's life) had always been really late. As they say in cricket MISTIMING you no? Why the climax is always the same sharath?. Do you have any say?

Why Sidharth often fails to enter in any of his special friend's life a bit earlier? Why Sidharth is often cursed like hell? This time he was really loud that some of the coffee sippers stared at us! 

" Sidharth, my dear brother we all have excuses for our mistakes. Girls add bit chocolates and ice creams on some of the sentences and phrases to make them cuter and sweeter. Don't put too much of your brains on such craps. Come chill man. Didn't we study in our college days "Everything has a reason!" I said.

Somehow I consolidated him and we separated for the day. When I was returning home in an Auto I found myself chocking out the phrase " Had I met you before!"..

Rikshaw driver suddenly stopped the auto and said in broken English "Sir tell me you want some girls? What is your budget? I have contacts!". I was shell shocked for a second.

"At night traveling alone in an auto in Bangalore and whispering yourself any phrases like such in somewhat high volume, You may ended up listening such craps from Auto drivers"

Having said all these.....Had I Met You Before....


Thanks for your time!


Sharath Muthirakkal

Everything has a beginning...

‘Its over man, good bye... Take care’. This was the last text I received from her. Ever since the reception I had been trying her over phone. She never attended  them and finally switched it off. It was not the first time I was getting dumped by a girl. But this time I was totally broken. Because she was not just a girl to me. She was my life, my breath and my soul.  I didn’t want my parents to notice me crying. I chose to have a shower at midnight and when water started pouring in, I cried loud and my tears became one with the over flowing water.

To me she looked the most beautiful girl in the world. I know each and every lover would say the same thing about his partner. But I still like to believe that no girl in the entire universe is as cute as she is. Its not only her cuteness dragged me to her. She was a down to earth girl, intelligent, smart, out of box thinker (a rare quality you see in girls), sympathetic, simple and most importantly humble to everyone. Though she was twenty four she started behaving like a 5 year old to me. I started enjoying the moments with her. Her voice was such a treat to my ears and her smiles have made my many days. We were like enemies first. I thought she had lot of attitude and never missed a single chance to make fun on her. She might have thought the same and done the same to me too.

It all changed since she felt sorry for making fun on me in a public place. Some how she collected my number and called me up on a Saturday night. ‘Hey it’s me’! that was the first sentence she had spoken over phone. I was able to recognize her voice in a blink of an eye. Though I have planned to play around. I said; ‘ who?’.

She said; Areee idiot it’s me your enemy.

I said ; Ohhh yeah. How come you call me and from where you got my number (This time a very genuine question)

She said ; You are a player no? I collected it from a girl. By the way I am sorry if I hurt you in a public place.

I said ; Hey come on. Irrespective of the places I love to get poked by you. Don’t be sorry. What else?

She said; Fine. Man dad calling. Goodnight. See you.

Then by midnight I received a message from her. It read ; ‘Hey dear goodnight. Sleep well. Take care J.’

OMG she had called me ‘dear’ and her message concluded with a smiley’.

If  girls are using smilies to conclude their messages, boys must be extremely careful while interpreting the meaning of those. They would send a smiling face while crying at the other end. They would send a sad face while laughing at the other end. They would send an angry face while flying many kisses for you.

With few spoken and written words, she made my day and the idiot in me whispered to me that ‘ Dude she is the girl you have been searching you for a long time. Go get her’!