Few pages from the book 'BEIJING SE'!

2^nd April 6, 2012 Monday

11.00 am

I woke up. Rushed to toilet and finished everything in a flash. I and Anderson had to go to the hotel where Philip sir is staying. We have to go for shopping. I made a mental note that, I would not spend money for the things I don’t really require. Soon I walked to the kitchen and prepared oatmeal and started having it in the dining room. Anderson told that he had it a while ago. Soon we left the flat locking it behind. We reached the hotel on time and met Philip sir.

11.15 am

We had to catch a bus to the shopping center which is located in the heart of the city. We got into bus in no time and I started watching the beautiful buildings once again.

11.30 am

Anderson told us that the bus had reached our destination and we got down. Philip sir asked us what we would have for lunch. On the way to that busy mall, we had to go pass an over bridge. Finally I found something in China which is similar to India. On the bridge there were small-small vendors who dealt in bangles, fruits, dolls, leather wallets etc. We reached near the mall and found KFC. Philip sir ordered spicy chicken. In China KFC serve spicy chicken which is not that crispy common KFC chicken. I too ordered the same. Anderson bought some rice, curry and pork cutlet. Yes in China KFC supply domestic food. I wondered when they will start supplying ‘Pazham pori’ in their outlets in Kerala. They would definitely stuff chicken inside, I thought.

12.10 pm

We came out after having lunch. My tummy was not full. It was not even half, let alone full. When we came out only, I started looking at the people moving around. Men dressed perfectly. But it seemed majority of the women out there were in different mood. For a moment I thought it was a beach where you find women wearing bikinis. But there is no sea near by Beijing, I recalled the map. Soon my eyes started looking at the half naked breasts of the women who moved around.  I never wanted to look at them. But you cannot walk closing your eyes. Yes believe me, everywhere the situation was the same. Majority of them were married. One is not supposed to look at married women’s breasts, but then they should have kept them at home!

At least they should have covered them.

12.20 pm

We reached inside that mega market. One could buy anything he wants from there, provided he has money. Philip sir wanted to buy some beer glasses, which he told us that would be given as gifts. I took a pack of cornflakes. Mr. P had bought some other glasses too. I found many small glasses you would see in Bar. But I didn’t have a Bar back home to buy a few of them!

1.30 pm

Philip sir paid the bill (including the cornflakes I bought) and we stepped out from the shopping center. I was happy to get inside the bus. All I wanted was that to reach home quickly to watch some movies, online. But as always God has different plans. We had to wait for the bus for 20 minutes and by the time when I and Anderson reached home, it was around 2.30pm

2.45 pm

I quickly opened the laptop and started watching the movie ‘Lion’ another Dileep movie. I am not a Dileep fan but one Dileep fan had once recommended me the same movie. It was Shamil who told me that the movie is a good one. Let me tell you one thing, I enjoyed the film very much.

7.00 pm

By seven I got ready to go out. Philip sir would be leaving tomorrow, early in the morning to India. So it would be the last dinner with him in Beijing for the time being. I Anderson started strolling to pick Philip sir from his hotel. It was freaking cold. Temperature was 4 degree centigrade. For an Indian who was coming from 35-40 degree centigrade it was unbearable. I suggested Anderson to shift the usual way to another one, where buildings are more. My plan was simple. I just wanted to escape from the cold wind. But Anderson was not ready to hear me and told that we would walk through the usual way. For the first time, I hated Anderson. After some time, he told me that ‘Jango, we should have gone through the way which you have suggested’. I gave him a look and understood that, inside his skull there is a truckload of shit instead of brains!

As Dileep did in Spanish Masala (A Malayalam movie), I also smiled at him and abused him in Malayalam. Anderson returned me a smile and thanked me!

7.15 pm

We met Philip sir in the lobby and stepped out of the hotel to have dinner. I and Philip sir suggested Anderson to find a nearest restaurant due to the heavy wind and freaking cold. Anderson said he knew a nearest restaurant and we followed him. Fucker made us walk for 20 minutes and we finally reached Anderson’s nearest restaurant’. Poor Philip sir and equally poor me had sighed and went inside.

7.40 pm

Anderson told us that it was the best restaurant and we would like all the dishes out there. When the waitress arrived with the menu card, with curiosity I too looked at it. Anderson ordered something and gave me the menu card. I had point out some dishes. Anderson told me that those were donkey dishes. I had shown him some other dishes but those were still donkey dishes. Then Anderson revealed that secret before us that, the restaurant is specialized in donkey meat. I wanted to kill the donkey which wore a trouser and shirt and sat near us and eat it. But I simply smiled at him. No Malayalam abuses that time. Philip sir was there no? I had ordered some items which were not donkey. We finished dinner around 8.50 and lef the place.

9.20 pm

We reached near Philip sir’s hotel. He would be leaving to India in the morning flight. I wished him a safe journey and he wished me a nice stay in Beijing till 21^st of April. I wondered how nice it would be with a donkey like Anderson. We bid goodnight and I and Anderson left to home. On the way back Anderson was telling me something. I was least interested in him and agreed to him irrespective of the matters discussed.

9.35 pm

After reaching the apartment I changed in to the night dress and jumped on the bed and started thinking. I thought about the mighty artist, The God. If he is not an artist how would he create a character like Anderson and a donkey? Different species yet same intelligence!

Yawns.. Goodnight diary

Yours truly

Jango

Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

French couple would even steal your sleeps...Stay drunk (A night withbeer bottles)

         When you read the title you may think that, I had spent a night without sleeping but drinking beer. But the truth is that, I was not able to sleep and I had to drink. It was not my choice. In fact it was the only choice. We were heading to Beijing from Shanghai in a luxury train. To me it looked like an aero plane. Its interior was designed in such a way that one would enjoy the journey. We board the train from Shanghai railway station. Well that Railway station itself looked bigger than Cochin International Airport. Well I am not insulting the airport; I am just stating a fact. As I said inside train in a single room only 4 people would occupy. 2 upper births and 2 lower. And the bed looked exactly the same you would find in a five star Hotel. Softest pillows made the perfect finishing to the design as well. Each passenger could watch video of their choice from the television fixed against the wall. I wonder what else you need to have a nice journey. I thought of comparing Indian Railway with the Shanghai Railway. With all respect I have for Indian Railway, I buried that thought in the very next moment.

                  When we bored the train, in our room nobody was there. I and Emmanuel sir settled the heavy luggage under our seat. We were told by the attenders who looked more beautiful than the airhosts that the other two passengers would get in when the train reaches the next stop. I thought 2 Chinese people would check in. Soon I started reading a book and Emmanuel Sir went to have a stroll inside the train. Believe me; you can walk till the end of the train through compartments. When Emmanuel sir returned, I started moving inside the train. I was strolling through the compartments and stopped in one of them. I didn’t want to stop. But my mind sent the red signal to the legs to pause and watch. It was a restaurant inside the train. I had a cold coffee and moved on. After reaching near the loco pilot I started walking back to my compartment. In 15 minutes I reached back and knocked at the door. I was surprised see a lady opening the door. Then I came to understand that our fellow passengers have bored the train when it stopped in the last station. But I never knew it stopped somewhere. They were 2 French people. Looked like students. We exchanged pleasantries and I came to understand that they were Lucy and David.

                     Soon I returned to my book, so did Emmanuel Sir. He was reading another book of course. When it was 10.30pm Emmanuel sir wanted to sleep. So did the French guys who were settled on the above birth. Though there were two births, they found it easy to settle on a single bed. Since it was not my business; I decided to switch off the lights. When I was about to switch off, Lucy got down from David’s bed and went up to her bed which was just opposite to David’s. Initially my Indian mind thought they were couples. But Then I understood they were friends. But My Indian mind was right. Little did I know that they would steal away my sleep! Little did I know that they would make love in train with all the sounds which would come out in the love making! I stretched on my bed and closed my eyes. I was about to fall in sleep. Then I was pulled back. It was loud moaning of somebody startled my sleep. When I opened my eyes in the dim light, slowly I could see David in Lucy’s bed. I wondered how two of them could adjust on it. But when love. Wait should I call it love or sex?

                 I will go with the latter. When sex is on nothing matter but sex. I have read somewhere that narrow spaces increases the seduction.  I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Slowly they started whispering something in French. Their whispers pierced my ears and I could not sleep. First time in my whole life I hated the language French. First time in my whole life I hated whispers. I stoop up. When they saw me standing up they started behaving as if nothing was happening. Lucy even snored. Had she acted in French films, she would have won Oscar. I opened the door and started walking in the train again. I sadly realized how much I miss my sleep. I walked and walked along. When I reached the restaurant, I saw beer bottles decorated inside the fridge as if inviting me for a drink. I bought one bottle and settle on a couch. I felt relaxed sipping it and watching the trees and buildings falling behind me outside the window. I didn’t even realize when the bottle became empty. So I went again and bought 3 more bottles. When I settled myself on that couch, I realized how much I am missing everyone in India, everything in India. Indian Railway may not be as good as Shanghai railway. But as I took the last sip from the third bottle I came to know how much I missed the general compartments of Indian railway. When I was done with the third bottle I decided not to drink anymore and started walking back to my compartment. Then only I tried to think what would be happening inside the room. If their lovemaking didn’t finish, I would be witnessing a porn stunt LIVE! In fact FRENCH PORN in CHINESE TRAIN. I thought how funny the title ‘FRENCH PORN IN THE CHINESE TRAIN’ would look like in a porn site.

                    Then I decided to have another bottle and went back to the restaurant. Lady who was there in the Restaurant might have thought I could be one of the few insane who would spend 5456 Rupees for the train ticket, Just to drink beer inside the train. When I finished the fourth bottle it was around 5 in the morning. I decided to go back to the room and also decided to see any show which would be running inside. But when I opened the door, I was surprised to see David and Lucy sleeping in their respective places. Lucy was snoring. This time it was original and equally horrible. I took my book and went back to the same restaurant and started reading with another bottle of bear. As the pages were leaving behind the liquid in the bottle also started dipping down. And it was over in few minutes. Few pages were left in the book to finish it off. But the fuel was over and I bought another bottle. As I took the last sip from it, I had closed the book too.

               When the train stopped at Beijing south station Lucy and David thanked us for a wonderful journey. You guys fucked my sleep and thanking for a wonderful journey? That is what I wanted to said. But I wished them the same instead. We got down from the train and I yawned and let a deep sigh.

Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

A day with Thayyib is always a day with Thayyib...

                   Thayyib has asked me to wake him up early in the morning so that we could go college on time. I had to get my caution deposit back and he had to get his mark lists. As planned I rang him early in the morning. At first he didn’t pick up the call. After an hour or so he picked the call. We had to get our mark lists and all attested. I asked him to come home, so that my Mom, who is a Gazated officer, would sign our certificates and required documents. There is no point telling mom to wait after 9.15, as she is strict with her office timings. But Thayyib promised me that he would reach home in 30 minutes after a shower. Hence I asked Mom to wait for some time and she agreed to it. 30 minutes passed away in 30 seconds and Mom asked me to call Thayyib to ask him where he reached and I called him. Thayyib said “Sharath I am just starting dude”. I asked Mom to start for the office and told Thayyib to come home. And I briefed him the route.

                  I was listening to music and in 25 minutes I got a call from Thayyib asking me the route. I have clarified him with the routes and was getting ready. Yet again my cell rang with Thayyib’s name and his photo flashing all over it. I picked up and again made it clear to him. In 3 seconds Thayyib was home and we took all the needed certificates and headed to college in no time. We parked our bike there near the parking place and slowly started strolling towards the college. I felt a breeze brushing my face as if it is a January morning. May be when you are done with your course, any desert in the month of March would bring some cold breeze for you, just to brush those memories which are not buried in the graveyard of time. Falgunan sir’s Honda city was there.  Chintech didn’t change at all, we thought. You know I hate Honda City Car. In fact all Honda City cars in the world. The reason is very simple, Falgunan Sir owns one. It took us some time to fill all the forms and procedures. When Thayyib is done with filling a form, he had send to a room, person sitting in that particular room would ask him to get signature of another person who is sitting in the 3d floor. Poor Thayyib would run all the way to the third floor just to see that, the person he wanted to meet has come down to the ground floor. After running almost 5 kilometers inside the campus, up and down, we were quite happy with the fact that everything has been done.

                            On the way to Kannur University we got our copies attested at Mom’s office. On the way we stopped for having juice. I had tender coconut juice and Thayyib was happy with watermelon juice and a lime juice. Thayyyib was on again and we roared ‘ Kannur University.. we are coming’ as if we were going to bomb the University. On the way Thayyib started cracking some poor jokes and he alone had to laugh at it. Then he started teasing me by saying, “You won’t laugh at our jokes no? You will only laugh at your Amir’s jokes no?”.  When Thayyib bring some drama in, especially to tease someone, he would half raise his right hand and shake his head left and right. That action was widely discussed in the OR classes when we were in second semester. We reached University by 12 noon and started filling the forms which has to be accompanied by a bank chellan. When we were done, the black hands of the clock were about to show 1 ‘O’ clock. But we managed to reach at the door before 1. Surprisingly we were stopped by the security and asked us to come at 2. We were stunned and murmured something which we only could hear. Then we waited to see what is happening with other students. That security started telling all the students who were about to check in, “Only after 2 ‘O’ clock as if an alarm has fixed inside him. We wondered, he would say ‘After 2 ‘O’ clock’ in his soundest sleep as well. Imagine his wife calling him for sex, and then also he would say ‘After 2 ‘O’ clock’. Would be really funny no??

                         We left for lunch and Thayyib treated me with Chicken biriyani and later on Chikku shake. After 2 ‘O’ clock we reached the university and finished our work in 10 minutes. We left the premises as fast as we could and we were on the way to Kannur.  As we reached Alavil, Thayyib asked me from where we would have juice?

                       From Calicut juice centre, I said. Thayyib cut me and told that there would not be readymade Pineapple juice. I said there would be. He challenged me and it ended up in a bet. If there is readymade pineapple juice, Thayyib would pay the bill and if there is not, I will. Before stopping the bike near the Shoppe itself I have asked the Shoppe keeper, whether readymade pineapple juice was there or not. His ‘Yes’ made me felt the same way Ceaser might have felt after winning a war. I had Strawberry shake and Thayyib had pineapple juice. Thayyib dropped me at the bus stand and in 5 minutes I got a bus and in 30 minutes I was home.

                    Thanks a lot Thayyib for making a black and white day, a colorful one.

 Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal.

A nation that forgets its martyrs will itself soon be forgotten...

           I love Indian Army not only because that they protect us from enemies. It is also because of the sacrifice of every individual in the army and the attitude towards the nation as a whole. One soldier wrote to his Mom, “Maa, Tum dekhna, ek din aisa kaam karunga, sari duniya main mera nam hoga”. You know what happened to the life of that soldier? He was killed in an Ambush by the Pakistan army and they did the worst possible thing on him which they could only do. They had carved out his eye balls with knives. They drilled his ear drums with hot iron rode, they chopped off his genitals and broke every born and did whatever they could.  Sounds horrible no? But it was what the Pakistan soldiers did against a human being who was unfortunately selected in Indian Army, Mr. Captain Sourabh Kalia. This incident happened in the year 1999.

          After 12 years his poor father is still fighting in the court for the justice. Imagine a Dad receiving his child’s dead body in worst condition, one could never imagine. Poor father is not getting any support from the ministry. Remember Captain Sourabh kalia was not a normal soldier. He had lead many out ambushes, had killed terrorists, militants. Sourabh was a great strategist as well. That reason was pretty enough for the Pakistan bastards to do such a devilish thing to him. No country in the world is permitted to do such an act on any of the enemy soldier. They can kill him in a war but cannot kill him as they killed Sourabh. International community also seems forgotten the case. But how a father would tolerate with it?

             Respective ministry should take this case forward so that Poor father of Sourabh Kalia would get justice and no other military man would ever get such a treatment from Pakistan soldiers [I pray none of our soldiers get in to their traps next time]. Imagine if Indian Army had done the same on a Pakistani soldier. In the first place no Indians would ever do such an act. We are not heartless butchers after all. But just imagine. Whole world would come against India. Now see, when India is in the receiving end, no one is really keen to get involved. Army men are those who without minding their life; safe guarding us all from the evil forces. They keep peace inside the country by forgetting their family, friends, loved ones etc. They are the supreme most persons who deserve honors before any individual in India. So next time, when you see an Army man, Just salute and greet them with a “Bharath Matha Ki Jai”. For them, your Bharath Matha Ki Jai is always above 10000 billion crore Rupees.

BHARATH MATHA KI JAI…

Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

Attention Passengers...

    "Attention Passengers" would be the beginning of the any railway announcement in India. If they here this, foreigners would think that Indian Railway is too cautious and taking so much care for the passengers to be board in the train, which we Indians alone would call as 'Train'. Most of the times the so called 'Attention Passengers' announcement would be aired to inform the passengers that, their train would be late for another couple of hours. One should be really lucky to get his/her train on time in India !
    If we get our train on time we have to negotiate with lot of other things inside the train. For instance,FOOD; One of the basic needs, Sometimes they would supply horrible food inside the train. Loos-motion, food poisonings etc are normal things which would follow after a meal or two inside Indian Railway.If you are really lucky, you would even get cockroaches inside your meal pack, that too freaking ALIVE !! And if one wants to taste the worlds' worst vegetable cutlet, Chicken Biriyani etc, No kitchen in the world than Indian Railway's kitchens would better supply it.
         Now about some facilities offered inside the train. To be specific, inside the toilet ! You would never find a foreign railway network which provide passengers inside, with an opportunity to express their creativity to make their train journey a memorable one. Indian railway is a perfect example for that. All toilet walls are freely given to the passengers to express their feelings. some would write some excellent quote, some would draw some nude picture and explain each and every part of it more perfectly than your biology teacher, Some would prefer to write down girls' cell numbers. They say call girls, but majority of such numbers would be the numbers of  innocent girls who had refused a valentine's day gift or a proposal. And some political party fights would be seen on those walls as well. What else people need to have a NICE JOURNEY ??
        In every boggy you will find warning sticker pasted on the wall against smoking and drinking inside the train. Yet someone would make a boggy or at least their seat and surroundings a BAR inside. They will drink, sing horrible songs and smoke as if they are in a bar. Shukriya Indian Railway for an attached bar, Creativity boosting toilet wall [Creativity hub!], Ass-Leaking food and beverages. SHUKRIYA !!

Come on India Dhikado...

                When I was in 5^th standard, I used to watch one advertisement with more than 100% interest. I didn’t understand the dialogues in the Ad.  But I loved that Ad like anything. It was Official Wills video. The scene of the Ad would begin with mob stepping out of a cricket stadium with their hopes buried in the gallery as India in the verge of losing a match. Arun lal’s commentary would be played in the background. Here goes Arun Lal, “Have a look at this, India is going to face the toughest situation. Game is down to the wire, And as India’s hopes are less, people started moving out after firing the posters of team India on the stands. It is a big task, Can they pull it off?”As fans rushing out side, One guy in Red and black strips full sleeve T-Shirt seems running in the Stadium by pushing the crowd which comes in his opposite direction. As he reaches the gallery he jumps like a monkey on the boundary grills in the gallery and started roaring ‘COME ON INDIA DHIKADO’. Then Sachin turned back at the gallery. In fact all Indian players started feeling something different and finally Anil Kumble took the last wicket to make India victorious. Throughout the Ad, ‘Come on India song’ would be played. That singer in the video would be continuously asking all the team to show ‘Some will’!

          Where is our team standing now guys?

ICCI ranking system would say us that, we are in 3d position in the ICCI ranking. But are we delivering results? We played 7 tests and lost all the matches. When we lost 4 matches in England fans thought that it was a bad omen. After that India came back well in the home serious against West-Indies. It was tour down under in Australia waiting us. We lost terribly in the first match in Melbourne. I never thought India could lose a game like that. We were almost there to win a game but team India lost it like anything. Then we thought it was a starting trouble and team would strongly come back in Sydney. But I have never seen India performing like this on the field. All bowlers struggled and Michael Clarke hit his maiden 300 in Sydney and Team India’s irresponsible kind of batting invited another massive innings defeat.

Then we thought in Perth we would pull back. But I still wonder why India didn’t play Aswin there. Yet we thought we would show some positive intent in the game. Pitch in Perth lived up to it’s expectation that the ‘Courtyard of batsmen’. Team India were restricted to their lowest total in the series so far and Australia took a massive lead of 200 plus as Warner made a quick centaury. India’s reply was positive but soon started going back to the pavilion one by one. Rahul Dravid and Virak Kohli resisted but it was not enough and team India lost the game for an innings and 35 runs.

                    Now we know what would happen. All the media would ask for Dhoni’s head and couple of seniors’. But is that the right step we have to take. Let me ask you one question, Is Team India’s new coach doing something great? Garry Kirsten never behaved like a coach in the dressing room. He was one among the members of the team. He listened to the problems of the players and improved the performance of each and everyone. Finally Garry helped Team India to lift the World Cup 2011. He then, left to South Africa to coach his own national team. Look at the improvement of current South African national team. Srilanka has been squeezed by the hosts in the quick surface in South Africa.

Is there a Garry Kirsten in India?

                       Yes, we have a left hander former captain who had shown the guts to remove his shirts to celebrate a memorable victory in the Mecca of cricket, The Lords.

                     Yes I am talking about the fearless tiger of Bengal, Ever green and uncrowned prince of Calcutta, Mr. Sourav Ganguly. Ganguly is the cleverest captain India had ever seen. If Ganguly can coach team India it would be a new beginning in the history of Indian cricket. No Australia.. NO South Africa would dare to challenge India.

                      Now we can hope for the best from team India in the remaining tests in Australia. Yes Indian tigers are wounded. Australia must be seriously aware of this. Let us hope for the best. Let us support our team. Our Men in Blue..

 Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

0.25 out of 100...

  I agree that there would be friends who are so close to each other. But I seriously doubt there would be someone like me and Sharon, who had ever shared the lowest mark in the history of Mathematics. Yes guys we scored freaking 0.25 out of 100. I still remember that evening, Murali sir was giving out the Maths answer sheets. He would be giving it from the top marks to the lowest. That reason was pretty enough for us to have fun. We were aware of the fact that our papers would be seeing the lights at last. Murali sir reached in 50s. But who cared. We were chit chating with girls and throwing paper balls at random friends. Sir reached in 30s. We didn't mind at all. Sharon took a mirror from somewhere[ a small one] and started reflecting the sun light on the pretiest girls in the class. He would be focusing the beam on a girl and would be narrating something on that particular girl. Like, 'see Sharath this girl is having the biggest boobs among the girls', That girl used to release bad gas during the class' and other funny comments [I still wonder how did this duffer know about the 'bad gas' scenario !]. I laughed at his joke and noted Murali Sir's 'Avante oru chiri' kind of stare at me.
Meanwhile Murali Sir reached in 20s. We were happily tearing the papers and making the balls and throwing at our friends. Fuck !! One guy has hit the Jack pot. He had scored 100 out of 100. One of our good friends. Meerej did it. I congratulated him. To me Meerej was just like someone who had reached on the top of the everest in a day. 100 out of 100 OHH God. Serious talent.
Finally Murali sir, started giving the papers of below 10marks. We were eager to be called. 7, 6., 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,
Fuck !! I pinched Sharon on his thighs. Sharon gave me a silly look with a funny smile. I liked it and started smiling at him. Then Murali sir called Sharon's name
Shaaaaaroooonnn : 0.25 out of 100

I laughed..Almost rolled on the floor and laughed.

Then he called my name.

Sharathhhh: I stood up and looked at the class as if I had scored full marks in the taughest maths examination of Cambride Unversity and Murali sir gave me the paper. I had a looked at it and started laughing more and more. we had same marks. Same freaking 0.25 out of 100.

Any how we managed to pass the +2 board mathematics examination. Just passed.

Now Sharon is in UK working with a company, That too in Olympics village. BHAGYAVAAAAN :)

I am with the New indian express.

Those school days, Especially Murali Sir's Maths classes were the most enjoyed sessions. Because. We didn't understand anything and we played around.

Anyway brother, Sharon Miss you man.. Love you big time. Hugs kisses...