French couple would even steal your sleeps...Stay drunk (A night withbeer bottles)

         When you read the title you may think that, I had spent a night without sleeping but drinking beer. But the truth is that, I was not able to sleep and I had to drink. It was not my choice. In fact it was the only choice. We were heading to Beijing from Shanghai in a luxury train. To me it looked like an aero plane. Its interior was designed in such a way that one would enjoy the journey. We board the train from Shanghai railway station. Well that Railway station itself looked bigger than Cochin International Airport. Well I am not insulting the airport; I am just stating a fact. As I said inside train in a single room only 4 people would occupy. 2 upper births and 2 lower. And the bed looked exactly the same you would find in a five star Hotel. Softest pillows made the perfect finishing to the design as well. Each passenger could watch video of their choice from the television fixed against the wall. I wonder what else you need to have a nice journey. I thought of comparing Indian Railway with the Shanghai Railway. With all respect I have for Indian Railway, I buried that thought in the very next moment.

                  When we bored the train, in our room nobody was there. I and Emmanuel sir settled the heavy luggage under our seat. We were told by the attenders who looked more beautiful than the airhosts that the other two passengers would get in when the train reaches the next stop. I thought 2 Chinese people would check in. Soon I started reading a book and Emmanuel Sir went to have a stroll inside the train. Believe me; you can walk till the end of the train through compartments. When Emmanuel sir returned, I started moving inside the train. I was strolling through the compartments and stopped in one of them. I didn’t want to stop. But my mind sent the red signal to the legs to pause and watch. It was a restaurant inside the train. I had a cold coffee and moved on. After reaching near the loco pilot I started walking back to my compartment. In 15 minutes I reached back and knocked at the door. I was surprised see a lady opening the door. Then I came to understand that our fellow passengers have bored the train when it stopped in the last station. But I never knew it stopped somewhere. They were 2 French people. Looked like students. We exchanged pleasantries and I came to understand that they were Lucy and David.

                     Soon I returned to my book, so did Emmanuel Sir. He was reading another book of course. When it was 10.30pm Emmanuel sir wanted to sleep. So did the French guys who were settled on the above birth. Though there were two births, they found it easy to settle on a single bed. Since it was not my business; I decided to switch off the lights. When I was about to switch off, Lucy got down from David’s bed and went up to her bed which was just opposite to David’s. Initially my Indian mind thought they were couples. But Then I understood they were friends. But My Indian mind was right. Little did I know that they would steal away my sleep! Little did I know that they would make love in train with all the sounds which would come out in the love making! I stretched on my bed and closed my eyes. I was about to fall in sleep. Then I was pulled back. It was loud moaning of somebody startled my sleep. When I opened my eyes in the dim light, slowly I could see David in Lucy’s bed. I wondered how two of them could adjust on it. But when love. Wait should I call it love or sex?

                 I will go with the latter. When sex is on nothing matter but sex. I have read somewhere that narrow spaces increases the seduction.  I closed my eyes and tried to sleep. Slowly they started whispering something in French. Their whispers pierced my ears and I could not sleep. First time in my whole life I hated the language French. First time in my whole life I hated whispers. I stoop up. When they saw me standing up they started behaving as if nothing was happening. Lucy even snored. Had she acted in French films, she would have won Oscar. I opened the door and started walking in the train again. I sadly realized how much I miss my sleep. I walked and walked along. When I reached the restaurant, I saw beer bottles decorated inside the fridge as if inviting me for a drink. I bought one bottle and settle on a couch. I felt relaxed sipping it and watching the trees and buildings falling behind me outside the window. I didn’t even realize when the bottle became empty. So I went again and bought 3 more bottles. When I settled myself on that couch, I realized how much I am missing everyone in India, everything in India. Indian Railway may not be as good as Shanghai railway. But as I took the last sip from the third bottle I came to know how much I missed the general compartments of Indian railway. When I was done with the third bottle I decided not to drink anymore and started walking back to my compartment. Then only I tried to think what would be happening inside the room. If their lovemaking didn’t finish, I would be witnessing a porn stunt LIVE! In fact FRENCH PORN in CHINESE TRAIN. I thought how funny the title ‘FRENCH PORN IN THE CHINESE TRAIN’ would look like in a porn site.

                    Then I decided to have another bottle and went back to the restaurant. Lady who was there in the Restaurant might have thought I could be one of the few insane who would spend 5456 Rupees for the train ticket, Just to drink beer inside the train. When I finished the fourth bottle it was around 5 in the morning. I decided to go back to the room and also decided to see any show which would be running inside. But when I opened the door, I was surprised to see David and Lucy sleeping in their respective places. Lucy was snoring. This time it was original and equally horrible. I took my book and went back to the same restaurant and started reading with another bottle of bear. As the pages were leaving behind the liquid in the bottle also started dipping down. And it was over in few minutes. Few pages were left in the book to finish it off. But the fuel was over and I bought another bottle. As I took the last sip from it, I had closed the book too.

               When the train stopped at Beijing south station Lucy and David thanked us for a wonderful journey. You guys fucked my sleep and thanking for a wonderful journey? That is what I wanted to said. But I wished them the same instead. We got down from the train and I yawned and let a deep sigh.

Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

A day with Thayyib is always a day with Thayyib...

                   Thayyib has asked me to wake him up early in the morning so that we could go college on time. I had to get my caution deposit back and he had to get his mark lists. As planned I rang him early in the morning. At first he didn’t pick up the call. After an hour or so he picked the call. We had to get our mark lists and all attested. I asked him to come home, so that my Mom, who is a Gazated officer, would sign our certificates and required documents. There is no point telling mom to wait after 9.15, as she is strict with her office timings. But Thayyib promised me that he would reach home in 30 minutes after a shower. Hence I asked Mom to wait for some time and she agreed to it. 30 minutes passed away in 30 seconds and Mom asked me to call Thayyib to ask him where he reached and I called him. Thayyib said “Sharath I am just starting dude”. I asked Mom to start for the office and told Thayyib to come home. And I briefed him the route.

                  I was listening to music and in 25 minutes I got a call from Thayyib asking me the route. I have clarified him with the routes and was getting ready. Yet again my cell rang with Thayyib’s name and his photo flashing all over it. I picked up and again made it clear to him. In 3 seconds Thayyib was home and we took all the needed certificates and headed to college in no time. We parked our bike there near the parking place and slowly started strolling towards the college. I felt a breeze brushing my face as if it is a January morning. May be when you are done with your course, any desert in the month of March would bring some cold breeze for you, just to brush those memories which are not buried in the graveyard of time. Falgunan sir’s Honda city was there.  Chintech didn’t change at all, we thought. You know I hate Honda City Car. In fact all Honda City cars in the world. The reason is very simple, Falgunan Sir owns one. It took us some time to fill all the forms and procedures. When Thayyib is done with filling a form, he had send to a room, person sitting in that particular room would ask him to get signature of another person who is sitting in the 3d floor. Poor Thayyib would run all the way to the third floor just to see that, the person he wanted to meet has come down to the ground floor. After running almost 5 kilometers inside the campus, up and down, we were quite happy with the fact that everything has been done.

                            On the way to Kannur University we got our copies attested at Mom’s office. On the way we stopped for having juice. I had tender coconut juice and Thayyib was happy with watermelon juice and a lime juice. Thayyyib was on again and we roared ‘ Kannur University.. we are coming’ as if we were going to bomb the University. On the way Thayyib started cracking some poor jokes and he alone had to laugh at it. Then he started teasing me by saying, “You won’t laugh at our jokes no? You will only laugh at your Amir’s jokes no?”.  When Thayyib bring some drama in, especially to tease someone, he would half raise his right hand and shake his head left and right. That action was widely discussed in the OR classes when we were in second semester. We reached University by 12 noon and started filling the forms which has to be accompanied by a bank chellan. When we were done, the black hands of the clock were about to show 1 ‘O’ clock. But we managed to reach at the door before 1. Surprisingly we were stopped by the security and asked us to come at 2. We were stunned and murmured something which we only could hear. Then we waited to see what is happening with other students. That security started telling all the students who were about to check in, “Only after 2 ‘O’ clock as if an alarm has fixed inside him. We wondered, he would say ‘After 2 ‘O’ clock’ in his soundest sleep as well. Imagine his wife calling him for sex, and then also he would say ‘After 2 ‘O’ clock’. Would be really funny no??

                         We left for lunch and Thayyib treated me with Chicken biriyani and later on Chikku shake. After 2 ‘O’ clock we reached the university and finished our work in 10 minutes. We left the premises as fast as we could and we were on the way to Kannur.  As we reached Alavil, Thayyib asked me from where we would have juice?

                       From Calicut juice centre, I said. Thayyib cut me and told that there would not be readymade Pineapple juice. I said there would be. He challenged me and it ended up in a bet. If there is readymade pineapple juice, Thayyib would pay the bill and if there is not, I will. Before stopping the bike near the Shoppe itself I have asked the Shoppe keeper, whether readymade pineapple juice was there or not. His ‘Yes’ made me felt the same way Ceaser might have felt after winning a war. I had Strawberry shake and Thayyib had pineapple juice. Thayyib dropped me at the bus stand and in 5 minutes I got a bus and in 30 minutes I was home.

                    Thanks a lot Thayyib for making a black and white day, a colorful one.

 Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal.

A nation that forgets its martyrs will itself soon be forgotten...

           I love Indian Army not only because that they protect us from enemies. It is also because of the sacrifice of every individual in the army and the attitude towards the nation as a whole. One soldier wrote to his Mom, “Maa, Tum dekhna, ek din aisa kaam karunga, sari duniya main mera nam hoga”. You know what happened to the life of that soldier? He was killed in an Ambush by the Pakistan army and they did the worst possible thing on him which they could only do. They had carved out his eye balls with knives. They drilled his ear drums with hot iron rode, they chopped off his genitals and broke every born and did whatever they could.  Sounds horrible no? But it was what the Pakistan soldiers did against a human being who was unfortunately selected in Indian Army, Mr. Captain Sourabh Kalia. This incident happened in the year 1999.

          After 12 years his poor father is still fighting in the court for the justice. Imagine a Dad receiving his child’s dead body in worst condition, one could never imagine. Poor father is not getting any support from the ministry. Remember Captain Sourabh kalia was not a normal soldier. He had lead many out ambushes, had killed terrorists, militants. Sourabh was a great strategist as well. That reason was pretty enough for the Pakistan bastards to do such a devilish thing to him. No country in the world is permitted to do such an act on any of the enemy soldier. They can kill him in a war but cannot kill him as they killed Sourabh. International community also seems forgotten the case. But how a father would tolerate with it?

             Respective ministry should take this case forward so that Poor father of Sourabh Kalia would get justice and no other military man would ever get such a treatment from Pakistan soldiers [I pray none of our soldiers get in to their traps next time]. Imagine if Indian Army had done the same on a Pakistani soldier. In the first place no Indians would ever do such an act. We are not heartless butchers after all. But just imagine. Whole world would come against India. Now see, when India is in the receiving end, no one is really keen to get involved. Army men are those who without minding their life; safe guarding us all from the evil forces. They keep peace inside the country by forgetting their family, friends, loved ones etc. They are the supreme most persons who deserve honors before any individual in India. So next time, when you see an Army man, Just salute and greet them with a “Bharath Matha Ki Jai”. For them, your Bharath Matha Ki Jai is always above 10000 billion crore Rupees.

BHARATH MATHA KI JAI…

Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

Attention Passengers...

    "Attention Passengers" would be the beginning of the any railway announcement in India. If they here this, foreigners would think that Indian Railway is too cautious and taking so much care for the passengers to be board in the train, which we Indians alone would call as 'Train'. Most of the times the so called 'Attention Passengers' announcement would be aired to inform the passengers that, their train would be late for another couple of hours. One should be really lucky to get his/her train on time in India !
    If we get our train on time we have to negotiate with lot of other things inside the train. For instance,FOOD; One of the basic needs, Sometimes they would supply horrible food inside the train. Loos-motion, food poisonings etc are normal things which would follow after a meal or two inside Indian Railway.If you are really lucky, you would even get cockroaches inside your meal pack, that too freaking ALIVE !! And if one wants to taste the worlds' worst vegetable cutlet, Chicken Biriyani etc, No kitchen in the world than Indian Railway's kitchens would better supply it.
         Now about some facilities offered inside the train. To be specific, inside the toilet ! You would never find a foreign railway network which provide passengers inside, with an opportunity to express their creativity to make their train journey a memorable one. Indian railway is a perfect example for that. All toilet walls are freely given to the passengers to express their feelings. some would write some excellent quote, some would draw some nude picture and explain each and every part of it more perfectly than your biology teacher, Some would prefer to write down girls' cell numbers. They say call girls, but majority of such numbers would be the numbers of  innocent girls who had refused a valentine's day gift or a proposal. And some political party fights would be seen on those walls as well. What else people need to have a NICE JOURNEY ??
        In every boggy you will find warning sticker pasted on the wall against smoking and drinking inside the train. Yet someone would make a boggy or at least their seat and surroundings a BAR inside. They will drink, sing horrible songs and smoke as if they are in a bar. Shukriya Indian Railway for an attached bar, Creativity boosting toilet wall [Creativity hub!], Ass-Leaking food and beverages. SHUKRIYA !!

Come on India Dhikado...

                When I was in 5^th standard, I used to watch one advertisement with more than 100% interest. I didn’t understand the dialogues in the Ad.  But I loved that Ad like anything. It was Official Wills video. The scene of the Ad would begin with mob stepping out of a cricket stadium with their hopes buried in the gallery as India in the verge of losing a match. Arun lal’s commentary would be played in the background. Here goes Arun Lal, “Have a look at this, India is going to face the toughest situation. Game is down to the wire, And as India’s hopes are less, people started moving out after firing the posters of team India on the stands. It is a big task, Can they pull it off?”As fans rushing out side, One guy in Red and black strips full sleeve T-Shirt seems running in the Stadium by pushing the crowd which comes in his opposite direction. As he reaches the gallery he jumps like a monkey on the boundary grills in the gallery and started roaring ‘COME ON INDIA DHIKADO’. Then Sachin turned back at the gallery. In fact all Indian players started feeling something different and finally Anil Kumble took the last wicket to make India victorious. Throughout the Ad, ‘Come on India song’ would be played. That singer in the video would be continuously asking all the team to show ‘Some will’!

          Where is our team standing now guys?

ICCI ranking system would say us that, we are in 3d position in the ICCI ranking. But are we delivering results? We played 7 tests and lost all the matches. When we lost 4 matches in England fans thought that it was a bad omen. After that India came back well in the home serious against West-Indies. It was tour down under in Australia waiting us. We lost terribly in the first match in Melbourne. I never thought India could lose a game like that. We were almost there to win a game but team India lost it like anything. Then we thought it was a starting trouble and team would strongly come back in Sydney. But I have never seen India performing like this on the field. All bowlers struggled and Michael Clarke hit his maiden 300 in Sydney and Team India’s irresponsible kind of batting invited another massive innings defeat.

Then we thought in Perth we would pull back. But I still wonder why India didn’t play Aswin there. Yet we thought we would show some positive intent in the game. Pitch in Perth lived up to it’s expectation that the ‘Courtyard of batsmen’. Team India were restricted to their lowest total in the series so far and Australia took a massive lead of 200 plus as Warner made a quick centaury. India’s reply was positive but soon started going back to the pavilion one by one. Rahul Dravid and Virak Kohli resisted but it was not enough and team India lost the game for an innings and 35 runs.

                    Now we know what would happen. All the media would ask for Dhoni’s head and couple of seniors’. But is that the right step we have to take. Let me ask you one question, Is Team India’s new coach doing something great? Garry Kirsten never behaved like a coach in the dressing room. He was one among the members of the team. He listened to the problems of the players and improved the performance of each and everyone. Finally Garry helped Team India to lift the World Cup 2011. He then, left to South Africa to coach his own national team. Look at the improvement of current South African national team. Srilanka has been squeezed by the hosts in the quick surface in South Africa.

Is there a Garry Kirsten in India?

                       Yes, we have a left hander former captain who had shown the guts to remove his shirts to celebrate a memorable victory in the Mecca of cricket, The Lords.

                     Yes I am talking about the fearless tiger of Bengal, Ever green and uncrowned prince of Calcutta, Mr. Sourav Ganguly. Ganguly is the cleverest captain India had ever seen. If Ganguly can coach team India it would be a new beginning in the history of Indian cricket. No Australia.. NO South Africa would dare to challenge India.

                      Now we can hope for the best from team India in the remaining tests in Australia. Yes Indian tigers are wounded. Australia must be seriously aware of this. Let us hope for the best. Let us support our team. Our Men in Blue..

 Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal

0.25 out of 100...

  I agree that there would be friends who are so close to each other. But I seriously doubt there would be someone like me and Sharon, who had ever shared the lowest mark in the history of Mathematics. Yes guys we scored freaking 0.25 out of 100. I still remember that evening, Murali sir was giving out the Maths answer sheets. He would be giving it from the top marks to the lowest. That reason was pretty enough for us to have fun. We were aware of the fact that our papers would be seeing the lights at last. Murali sir reached in 50s. But who cared. We were chit chating with girls and throwing paper balls at random friends. Sir reached in 30s. We didn't mind at all. Sharon took a mirror from somewhere[ a small one] and started reflecting the sun light on the pretiest girls in the class. He would be focusing the beam on a girl and would be narrating something on that particular girl. Like, 'see Sharath this girl is having the biggest boobs among the girls', That girl used to release bad gas during the class' and other funny comments [I still wonder how did this duffer know about the 'bad gas' scenario !]. I laughed at his joke and noted Murali Sir's 'Avante oru chiri' kind of stare at me.
Meanwhile Murali Sir reached in 20s. We were happily tearing the papers and making the balls and throwing at our friends. Fuck !! One guy has hit the Jack pot. He had scored 100 out of 100. One of our good friends. Meerej did it. I congratulated him. To me Meerej was just like someone who had reached on the top of the everest in a day. 100 out of 100 OHH God. Serious talent.
Finally Murali sir, started giving the papers of below 10marks. We were eager to be called. 7, 6., 5, 4, 3, 2, 1,
Fuck !! I pinched Sharon on his thighs. Sharon gave me a silly look with a funny smile. I liked it and started smiling at him. Then Murali sir called Sharon's name
Shaaaaaroooonnn : 0.25 out of 100

I laughed..Almost rolled on the floor and laughed.

Then he called my name.

Sharathhhh: I stood up and looked at the class as if I had scored full marks in the taughest maths examination of Cambride Unversity and Murali sir gave me the paper. I had a looked at it and started laughing more and more. we had same marks. Same freaking 0.25 out of 100.

Any how we managed to pass the +2 board mathematics examination. Just passed.

Now Sharon is in UK working with a company, That too in Olympics village. BHAGYAVAAAAN :)

I am with the New indian express.

Those school days, Especially Murali Sir's Maths classes were the most enjoyed sessions. Because. We didn't understand anything and we played around.

Anyway brother, Sharon Miss you man.. Love you big time. Hugs kisses...

The chennai FILTER COFFEE...

                           If you ask me whether Indian Premier League (IPL) has made any contribution to our National Cricket Team I would say, yes, but only a few contributions which could be calculated in less than five fingers. You might have enjoyed those massive sixes of Chris Gayle, Adam Gilchrist, Robin Uthappa, Sachin Tendulkar, Virendra Segwags of the world. You might have cheered when you saw the timber flying all over the ground in the bowling of Lasith Malinga, Lakshmipathi Balaji, Harbhajan Singhs of the world. But one question can you say by putting your right hand across your chest that, you have enjoyed watching this fast and furious format of the Cricket called ‘T20’. Former Indian cricketer Ravi Shastri is publicizing this format as if he had born while his mom was watching a T20 match. I am not writing this post to express my views on T20. I just want to express my takes on two players who have noted in short span by whole cricket world.

                          One among them is Mr. Ravichandran Aswin. I don’t know what made me his fan, whether his innocent look or the exclusive carom balls which are unplayable. To be very frank I am not a Chennai Super Kings (CSK) fan. But yet I watch all of their matches. Just to see this man bowling. One thing I liked about his captain Mahendra Singh Dhoni is that, he use Aswin in the power play overs where only two fielders are outside the 30 yard circle. Yet Aswin pick wickets at a very low economy rate. Aswin is the only bowler after Wasim Akram, who made me feel that, in every ball this guy is going to pick wicket. Aswin in his early days was a footballer. He used to hit the ball hard. But as I always say God had different plans for that footballer kid and he made his way to the Tamilnadu State Ranji Trophy team in no time. Aswin was picking wicket as though batsmen had no bat in their hand to defend his Off break / Carom balls. He confuses batsman with his simple yet very cool balling action. His ball would pitch where exactly batsman would find it difficult to choose a defense shot or an attacking shot to be played. And after pitching nobody in this world than Aswin know in which way it would turn. That is the skill of this ‘IPL discovery’. Remember what happened in Mohali while India was playing against Australians in World Cup Semi final 2011, When Shane Watson started picking Indian quickies; Dhoni threw the 10 over old new ball to Aswin. Aswin did what exactly his caption and 100 million Indians wanted. A ball pitched in half volley length turned exactly opposite to the brainwave of Shane Watson and stuck his pad. “Howzzzzzzaaaaatttt….”  Entire stadium roared, umpires’ index finger gone straight and looked at the sky. Watson found it difficult to believe. And India won the game.

                              Throughout the World cup Dhoni used Aswin as an opening bowler. You know in ODIs mandatory power play is for 10 overs which would extend to 15 if fielding team takes bowling power play in next 5 overs. Aswin had never disappointed his captain and always given some bonus in terms of early breakthroughs. Aswin is not only a bowler but alson a guy who is capable of using the long handle effectively. It is not always you would find Indian selectors choosing Aswin and Rahul Sharmas of the world over Harbhajan Singh. Aswin and Rahul were in the test and ODI squad of Indian team for the Westindies.  Cricket fans of across the world were waiting Sachin to hit his 100^th ton but had witnessed a tall guy who had batted in No. 7^th position in the batting order striking a magnificent hundred to save team India from a losing stage and  making them victorious. Aswin was among the pick of the wickets after that series. He bagged a handful 21 wickets which included a lot of front and middle order wesindians.

                              Aswin was the guy Team India looking for who could pick up wickets and capable of creating a twist in the game with both bat and ball. They got a bowler who deliver results and a batsman who is technically as strong as a middle order batsman who could save the team in any other bad situation.

                             Thanks IPL. Had not IPL find guys like Rahul and Aswin I would have stopped watching it long back. Thanks for this contribution. 

                              Sorry guys could not write about Rahul in this particular post. Space issues, you know? Next time it would be none other than Rahul Sharma.

Happy Reading :)

Thanks for your time

Sharath Muthirakkal