Though he was excited of attending his first ever quarterly review
meeting, he could sense butterflies flying all over his empty stomach on the
D-Day. He was excited because he got invited for quarterly review meeting which
is going to be conducted in a lake side resort in one of the beautiful
landscapes of the world itself. Butterflies flew freely in his stomach because
he had been asked to give a presentation in front of a decent-educated-geeky
crowd. When he contacted the other guys who had also been asked to give away
presentations they gave him the impression that their presentations are as
equally boring as his. Poor man believed them and decided to go with his sick
looking power point slides before afore said audience. Point here should be
noted that; presentations had been assigned only to newly recruited employees.
Ragging? Well let’s see.
Presentations were scheduled after
the quarterly reviews, in the early hours of the evening. Whole team reached at
the lake side resort at about 10 in the morning and gathered over an oval
shaped table of the conference hall. He told that there were some 30 people
including the bosses, managers, assistant managers and would-be ragged (?!) new
recruitees.
Being the youngest in the group
he tried hard to understand what they were discussing. But in no time he got
disappointed after seeing the figures, jargons and matters discussed flying
over his head. He told that he had felt misplaced in that crowd. When everyone
clapped he also clapped, when everyone laughed he also laughed. He wondered how
many of them would be clapping and laughing like him without understanding a
single sentence/figure/jargon discussed. But he believed that everyone but him
might have understood everything. That belief only increased the number of
butterflies.
At around 1.30 in the afternoon conferences
dispersed for lunch after the reviews. Buffet lunch was delicious. He tried
almost every item. Hardly very few of them were known to him. He told that none
of them tasted great because of the butterflies except the Kerala special fish
curry (He told at least he felt it special, God knows). But he had to keep the
table manners and hence pulled back himself from going the catering area for
the 2nd time. He noted during lunch one of the would-be presenters leaving
the dining table without having food. He thought she was sick or something and
felt very bad for her. Little did he know she had gone inside the conference
hall for rehearsing her power-point slides!
After lunch, people who talked
more till noon looked relaxed and the three including our man felt exact
opposite of the rest of the crowd. Lady presenter went first on the podium and
started her presentation after being invited by MD of the company itself. It
was when the lady presenter was about to march to the podium he noticed some
papers in her hands. Though they were trembling in her hands he felt like
cheated. He peeped to his left to see the other guy who is about to give the
second presentation. He saw some papers in his hands too. But unlike the lady
presenter those papers were not trembling. He felt horrible inside. He knew
that he would not be making any better presentation had he known that the fellow
presenters were pulling hard to make superb presentations. Though she was bit
shady in the beginning, lady who had given the presentation first had slowly
picked the speed and summed up well. Huge round of applause followed. More
butterflies this time in his stomach. He was shocked because, he felt the
fellow presenters hid from him the fact that they have prepared well and
confused because he had no clue about what to do with his sick looking slides.
When the second presenter
started with his slides, our man has almost had a cardiac arrest. Second
presenter has made sure that he had used almost all features of Microsoft Power
Point and Google to give maximum attraction to his more than 30 slides
presentation. (He even thought of flying to US of America and kill Bill Gates,
Larry Page and Sergey Brin) Our man glanced at each audience presented. By reading their
face expressions he was certain that they liked the second presenter and would
benchmark the rest of the presentations with the second one. And he knew that
his substandard presentation would get rated ‘horrible’. Huge round of applause
pulled him back to the reality and he also started clapping as the second guy
finished his presentation. He told that the applause lasted for good 2 minutes.
More and more butterflies this time.
MD invited him for giving the
last presentation scheduled for the day. Unlike other presenters he had no papers
in his hands and good looking slides in his USB drive. He connected his USB on
the laptop. Nobody noticed his hands trembling. Then he went to the podium and
looked at the audience. Almost another cardiac arrest! Finally after clearing
his throat for the 3d time he could open his mouth. Neither he could puke what
he had practiced before going to take the presentation nor did anything appear
in his mind from where to begin with. Everything went blank. He did not know
what to do and started doing the best thing he knew, that he had taught himself
during his Masters that is reading from the slides!
In no time he had finished his
dictation and looked at the audience as if he had done something wonderful. He
knew that it was the worst presentation he had ever given in his whole life.
But audience clapped for him too. But this time just for few seconds. He acknowledged
their claps and cursed his Adam’s apple for not letting him utter a sentence
with full confidence and his mind for being blank when it was required to be
full functioned. He hurriedly disconnected his USB from the laptop and went to
his seat. His head hung in shame!
He told that the fun wasn’t over
yet. He could not discuss with the author what happened during the post review
party at night on the very same day, as he had to leave to for a counseling
session. Author chose not to ask about the counseling to his already dull
looking dude. Hence our man had to leave his author friend in a hurry with an
uncompleted script. But he had promised the author that one day he would
narrate the whole incident when he could actually able to remember the blur
images in his memory and link them in a better way. My author friend’s mind
clinched on the ‘blur images’ usage of his friend and thought, Alcohol?! He
looked at his friend leaving the restaurant. His head still hung in shame?
I should acknowledge here my
author friend who doesn’t want to reveal his name, for letting me share this
tale.
Thanks everyone for your time.
Sharath Muthirakkal
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